My own experiences of being a late diagnosed woman with Autism and ADHD has made me passionate about empowering children and adults who are neurodivergent.

Even though I was given support, not knowing I was neurodivergent as child was difficult and led to development of insecurities as an adult that I’ve have to work though in my own personal coaching journey.

I wanted to be successful, and people wanted to help me, but no one really knew how to. I began to feel like I was fundamentally flawed. I started to deeply internalize what I considered “my failures.” No matter how much I tried to “fit-in” I could only ever stand out.

Below are some of the struggles that I faced throughout my school years when I was undiagnosed. The shame from sitting with my mother in parent teachers’ conferences is burned into my mind. I still have reoccurring nightmares from my grade school years!

ADHD related Struggles

-Was kept in for recess a lot for not following the rules or not finishing homework

-Spent a lot of class daydreaming

-Frequently forgot homework assignments

-Faced reprimand by teachers in front of the other students for my forgetfulness and disorganization.

Autism Related Struggles    

 -Periods of selective mutism. I told my mom in preschool I would talk on Wednesdays in class!

-Signs and symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder

  
-A harder time socializing because I had difficulty reading social cues.          

  -Echolalia       

  -Fine motor control difficulties- I was very (still am) clumsy! 

The pieces of puzzle didn’t start to fit together until I was 29. During this time the pandemic was occurring. All the maladaptive coping strategies I had been using thus far in my life to “get by” no longer worked. I hit rock bottom and was finally forced to get help and seek answers.

 I was lucky that she was informed about ADHD and told me that it was common for women to be diagnosed later on in life. I was put on ADHD medication (Adderall) for almost a year before I started on medication. I was in school and had heard about ADHD coaching through my research, but I told myself I was "too busy" for that right now. I told my psychiatrist that the medication was like being lost in a jungle (my mind), and then the Adderall was like still being "lost in the Jungle" but now finally having a map.

The medication helped me organize my mind so I could more clearly see all the "tangles" I had created in my life, but now I had to figure out how to untangle them. But I wasn't sure how to do that; I had spent so much of my life "winging it" and "running away" as soon as things got too hard and complicated. I decided to try hiring an ADHD coach to "try it out." I didn't think I would do it longer than a few months. I thought she'd help me sort out some of my issues, like getting a new job, and give me some organization techniques, and I'd be ready to move on.   

Looking back, I was asking her to help me finally be "neurotypical" and get back into the regular "timeline" of life I saw all my friends on.

But she has given me so much more than that. She has never told me what to do or told me I had to do something, but instead has sat with me as I figured it out myself. She has taught me that what I thought were weaknesses were actually strengths and that I was only going to stifle and frustrate myself by trying to be “normal.”

Through my journey with her, I became more self-aware and started to recognize some of my symptoms of autism. With her support I became diagnosed, and I learned to fully embraced my Autistic self.

She made me realize:  

 -I could be fun and silly   

 -have multiple interests    

-I didn’t have to be stuck doing the same 9-5 job for the rest of my life   

-I didn’t need to be a slave to my emotional impulses or, as I affectionately call it, “my artistic temperament.”

-I can do hard things if I make them fun and break them down into manageable pieces 

My ADHD Coach didn’t “fix me.” she showed me I didn’t need to be fixed, and she showed me who I was. And I’ve learned to love that person. I can’t lie. There are some days I still fight the escapism fantasies. But I’ve learned that I have the strength to overcome what I thought I once couldn’t and that I don’t have to “run-away” EVER again.

I realized I wasn’t “broken.” I learned through coaching how to operate and work with my unique brain.

My main goal as coach myself now is to help neurodivergent children adults embrace who they are to realize that they too, are not broken.”

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